


Sans' Adventures in Floweysitting

by Maxils



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Brief mentions of a couple obligatory ships, F/F, F/M, Flowey can't resist floof, M/M, Many swears, No Sex, Other, Undetermined kissing, papyrus is a precious cinnamon roll
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2020-12-31 08:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21128171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxils/pseuds/Maxils
Summary: Frisk asks Sans to take care of Flowey for a day. Things go awry when Undyne shows up.





	1. it begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Frisk spares Asgore, and Flowey doesn't murder the king. Also, just be patient. The ships will show soon.

Sans was _chilling _in his house. One of the best parts about being in Snowdin was that there were as many opportunities for puns as there were cubic centimeters of snow. Indeed, Sans loved it here. Of course, puns weren't the only reason. There was also Grillby's, the friendly faces, the huge door leading into the Ruins, the door south of the bridge Paps painted that hid Toby's place...  
The short skeleton jumped off the couch when the doorbell rang, the broken spring catching on his shirt. Wasn't it, like, three in the afternoon or something? Why would someone be visiting at this hour? As he took a step forward, he tripped from the spring. He only barely managed to catch himself with blue magic. Sans continued to the door, stiffening as he heard a faint, high-pitched yell.  
"WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO COLD OUT HERE?! THIS IS BULLSHIT! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME WITH THE GOD DAMN SMILEY TRASHBAG?!"  
"fuck," Sans muttered under his breath. There was only one living thing that ever called him a smiley trashbag. Putting on his best fake smile, he opened the door to be faced with Frisk and Flowey.  
"oh, hey, kid. what brings you to my humble a_snow_de?" Sans winked with the pun, then looked at Flowey. "i see you brought your bff - _best flower friend._"  
"GO DIE IN A FUCKING HOLE!" the goldenrod flower hissed violently.  
"Flowey, be nice!" Frisk scolded.  
"You can't tell me what to do! YOU'RE NOT MOM!" Sans found the fact that Flowey didn't say 'my' interesting.  
Frisk coughed and did an impression of Asgore. "Now, now, why don't we all be nice to each other?"  
"let me try," Sans suggested. He shut his eyes and willed his left eye to glow. "STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH OR I'LL GIVE YOU ONE _HELL_ OF A BAD TIME."  
Both Flowey and Frisk seemed shocked, the latter appearing to be momentarily paralyzed with fear, almost like it reminded them of something bad... Of course, it was probably because Sans never actually showed his glowing eye or bothered to speak in capital letters.  
After the two got over it, they both nodded, for some reason.  
"so, whatcha need, kid?"  
"Oh... right. Mom and I need you to watch Flowey for a while. We're going to a fancy dinner later, and Flowey... doesn't really have social skills. Also, I kind of promised Undyne I'd watch anime with her and Alphys."  
"I don't need to be watched," Flowey complained like the little shit he was.  
"sure, i'll watch over your weed," Sans accepted, holding up ice cubes and a ketchup bottle. "it'll be _ice_ to _ketchup_ with him. trust me, it'll be _snow_ problem."  
Frisk snorted loudly, while Flowey let out a groan of displeasure.  
"Thanks, Sans," Frisk nodded, turning around and closing the door behind them.

"well, weed, we might as well go to my post," Sans shrugged. If he wasn't there by the time Paps returned from his training session with Undyne, Paps would be pissed. Besides, it wasn't like there was much to do with the weed here.  
"WHY?! IT'S COLD AS SHIT OUT THERE!"  
"just for that remark, we'll be walking."  
"Why torture yourself if you just want to torture me?" Flowey asked.  
"it isn't torture, it's _pun_ishment. yes, there will be a shitload of puns on the way. waitaminnit, are you assuming that i can't walk from one end of snowdin to another?" Sans questioned, feeling mildly insulted.  
"I bet you Mmm... Toriel's secret butterscotch cinnamon pie recipe!"  
"it's on, you little shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea not much flans yet, but there will be more eventually


	2. it REALLY begins

Sans ended up winning the bet, much to Flowey's surprise. Sans had determined what he was betting while walking over, but that wasn't important anymore.  
"I'm surprised you actually made it," Flowey admitted when they reached the station.  
"i kind of am, too. now, i could _leaf_ you here alone, but then the kid and pap would be mad."  
"Papyrus would be fumi-" Flowey stopped himself automatically. _That's what he wants me to say._ "He'd be giving you shit about it for weeks."  
"i heard you almost say fuming," Sans teased, the biggest, stupidest grin on his face.  
Flowey had been too distracted by the numerous terrible puns to notice that his petals all had a thin layer of frost on them. "It's cold!" he complained.  
"well, it's a good thing all sentry stations are equipped with a small heater," Sans noted.  
_They_ are? Flowey had never really taken a close look at the sentry stations, so he hadn't known about the heaters. Did this mean that Papyrus' makeshift sentry station was also equipped with a heater? It was made out of cardboard, though, and would probably catch on fire, because that's what cardboard did, but the other sentry stations were all made out of wood... Wait. Sans had, like, two sentry stations in Hotland, so how did those never burst into flames? Hotland was boiling-  
"you didn't know?" Sans guessed.  
"Surprisingly, I didn't."  
Sans placed Flowey's pot on the desk of the station, and the short skeleton sat down. "well, that walk took a lot out of me."  
Flowey felt the warm embrace of the heater. It kind of made him sleepy. "Your puns took a lot out of _me._"  
"well, fair is fair," Sans yawned. It was really weird, because he didn't actually open his mouth when he yawned. It was also somehow disturbing and... well... _not_ disturbing at the exact same time. "wake me up if ya need anything."  
Sans quickly fell asleep, and Flowey began to doze off too, before he noticed the large amount of floof around the hood of Sans' sweater.  
_It looks so soft..._  
Flowey really wanted to touch it, and felt a sensation that he didn't recognize. His face began to heat up for no apparent reason. To ignore it, he continued to think about the floof on Sans' sweater.  
_Holy shit so cute I wonder if he'd let me touch his sweater floof because it looks so damn floofy I want it so bad but if he doesn't let me touch it but I do anyways he'll hate me and I'll have a BAD TIME!  
_Why was he wondering about such arbitrary things? It was stupid, really, but Flowey just couldn't stop thinking about it.  
After much contemplating, he decided, _Imma do it! Imma touch the floof!_ However, just before his vine could touch the floof, he felt himself being lifted into the air.  
_SHIT!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh! A wild Flansship and Cliffhanger appeared!
> 
> Also, I headcanon that Flowey can summon vines of various sizes.


End file.
